Qin Sang couldn’t help but feel that it was because she had listened to Liu Chengcheng talk about too many chaotic things before going to sleep. As a result, even when she finally managed to fall asleep, her dreams were a complete mess.

When the assistant came over and saw her open the door with dark circles under her eyes, she was startled and immediately asked, “Sang Sang, what’s wrong with you? Are you having trouble sleeping again?”

Why say “again”?

When Qin Sang first entered the industry, she had some unpleasant experiences, accompanied by severe anxiety and mild depressive tendencies, which also led to her developing insomnia.

For a very long time in the past, she had relied on medication to barely manage to fall asleep.

However, after undergoing systematic treatment, things are much better now.

With a regular daily routine, she hardly ever experiences insomnia.

Qin Sang, feeling groggy at the moment, rummaged through the fridge for an ice pack and pressed it against her forehead to clear her mind before answering, “It’s nothing, just had a nightmare last night and didn’t sleep well.”

The assistant looked puzzled: “Nightmare? Dreamed about the past again?”

Qin Sang collapsed on the sofa, sighing, “Yeah, dreamed about handing in a blank exam paper in high school. Couldn’t answer a single question, couldn’t make sense of a single word—I was so frantic I started crying.”

The assistant, clearly recalling the terror of college entrance exams, shivered. She grabbed some water and sprinkled it in the air with exaggerated motions: “Pah, pah, let’s get rid of this bad luck.”

Qin Sang just smiled, pressing an ice pack to her eyes. Her eyelids were so swollen she could barely open them.

It was true that she had dreamed about her high school exams, but it wasn’t as bad as handing in a blank paper—though it wasn’t much better either.

Her grades in high school were indeed not ideal. At the time, her homeroom teacher had earnestly admonished her, likely hoping she would find her way back to the right path and put her mind to serious studies earlier.

Back then, the homeroom teacher wore a stern expression, deliberately emphasizing the weight of her words. “You’re already in your second year of high school and still so careless and lazy—what do you plan to do in the future? Finish high school, drop out, and end up working at some factory or bubble tea shop, just scraping by? Do you know what every moment you waste now represents? It means that even if you put in a hundred or a thousand times the effort later, you might not catch up to the small score gap you’re creating now.”

It happened to be lunch break. All the teachers were in the office—not just the subject teachers, but also homeroom teachers from other classes and students who had come to seek advice. Qin Sang was probably the only female student in the office called in for a self-criticism due to her academic performance.

Qin Sang felt wronged too—it wasn’t that she hadn’t tried, but that her efforts had yielded no results.

She kept her head down without saying a word, until a knock came from behind her. A boy’s voice rang clear and magnetic, carrying a slightly raspy texture. “Teacher.”

After lecturing until his mouth was dry, the homeroom teacher saw the visitor and his attitude suddenly did a one-eighty. He warmly called out, “Classmate Xie, come in.”

During high school, Xie Yunchen was very tall and slender. Following the school’s requirements, his hair was cut very short, with the fringe at his forehead just stopping about two centimeters above his brow bone. Wearing the blue and white school uniform, he exuded a fresh, clean teenage vibe.

As soon as he came in, the already cramped office instantly felt even narrower. Qin Sang kept her head down, her gaze falling on the boy’s long, well-defined hands. His skin was very fair, likely a naturally cool-toned complexion, which made the veins on the back of his hands particularly visible. His nails were trimmed neatly and cleanly, with healthy white half-moons at the edges.

He didn’t have that sour, musty sweat smell common among teenage boys, but rather carried a faint scent of lemon.

If she wasn’t mistaken, it was probably just the lemon-scented body wash bought casually from the campus supermarket.

The homeroom teacher cradled a thermos cup, looking quite pleased. “Here for the competition materials, right? I heard from Mr. Tang that you plan to join Tsinghua University’s Strong Foundation Program. Have you decided to aim for Tsinghua in the future?”

“Mm-hmm.”

The boy’s response was calm, brief, and to the point.

Qin Sang instinctively lifted her head to glance at the person standing beside her, just a step away.

His back was very straight—a habit likely instilled by good family upbringing. No matter the time or place, his shoulders were always perfectly squared.

So, his goal was the highest-ranking university in the country.

It turned out that the world some people lived in was a realm she could never step into, no matter how hard she tried in her lifetime.

Qin Sang stared blankly at the boy’s straight back, her gaze drifting back to the desk. On the surface, a test paper bearing her name lay openly, the failing red score particularly glaring and stinging.

She had always been thick-skinned. Raised in a carefree family environment, she rarely felt insecure or timid about her shortcomings.

But in that moment, a sudden surge of intense shame overwhelmed her, making her wish she could die of embarrassment.

Looking back now, she figured it was probably just because being seventeen meant her pride was especially strong.

It wasn’t really that big of a deal, yet she could feel so wronged it was as if the sky had collapsed and the sun and moon had lost their light.

That feeling of shame, so intense it made her want to sink through the floor, was still etched deep in her bones even today. Just dreaming about that past experience was enough to make her feel like she needed to cry her heart out.

Seventeen was such an age of sensitivity and self-doubt, wasn’t it?

\_

The class reunion was scheduled for 8 p.m. on Saturday.

To accommodate Qin Sang’s special circumstances, they chose a relatively secluded Cantonese restaurant and specifically reserved a large private room.

Because of work, Qin Sang finished late. By the time she wrapped up and rushed over, almost all of the classmates had already arrived.

Liu Chengcheng was waiting for her downstairs. Seeing her enter wearing a mask and hat, she immediately stepped forward and led her to the second floor. As they walked upstairs, she said, “Don’t worry, it’s just classmates—no one even brought their partners.”

Qin Sang nodded without saying anything.

The private room was lively. Even though they hadn’t seen each other for years, they could still chat enthusiastically about their recent lives.

As the organizer of this class reunion, Tang Minmin occupied the main seat, continuously weaving through the gathering, making witty remarks and cracking jokes to enliven the atmosphere.

As soon as Liu Chengcheng and Qin Sang stepped through the door, Tang Minmin stood up and went to greet them, “We’ve been waiting for you, big star.”

“Sit down, sit down,” Tang Minmin pulled Qin Sang along, as close as if they were sisters. “What are you standing there for? Our class superstar is here, shouldn’t everyone give a round of applause?”

Qin Sang subtly withdrew her arm, “We’re all classmates, no need for such formalities.”

Tang Minmin didn’t feel awkward either and simply gestured for her to sit down.

Adult class reunions were essentially vanity fairs where people flattered each other, subtly comparing social status, connections, and accumulated wealth.

Only after sitting down did Qin Sang realize, with Liu Chengcheng’s reminder and friendly introductions, the profound implications behind Tang Minmin’s gathering arrangement.

Though there were many classmates in Jingcheng, almost all those present were elites from various industries; at the very least, they were mid-to-high earners.

Liu Chengcheng complained: “I used to think Tang Minmin just liked forming cliques, but now it’s clear—it’s not about camaraderie, she’s just a snob. You should’ve seen how she fawned over everyone else before you arrived. Any time she comes across someone with money, her smile could practically bloom into a flower.”

Qin Sang had a magazine photoshoot during the day and had been on a light fast for two days to ensure she looked good on camera. Now, rushing over here, her stomach was already growling with hunger.

She wasn’t really interested in these kinds of social gatherings. Already navigating the world of fame and fortune, she was no stranger to such tactics. Lowering her gaze, she silently focused on her food.

She would only occasionally turn and quietly ask Liu Chengcheng when a few unfamiliar faces came over to greet her.

It had been several years since she last saw her classmates. While they hadn’t exactly undergone a complete transformation, there were still noticeable changes—most of the male classmates had gained weight, while the majority of the female classmates had maintained their figures quite well, and nearly half were already married with children.

Even Tang Minmin had already given birth to two children. If she hadn’t been exchanging parenting tips with others, judging by her figure alone, it would have been hard to tell that she was already a mother of two.

While Qin Sang was still marveling at this, her agent happened to send her a message asking, “How is it? Having fun at the class reunion?”

Qin Sang lowered her head and replied, “Four words: utterly boring.”

Agent: “It’s been so long since you last saw them? You don’t feel even a shred of nostalgia for the past? Weren’t you just confidently telling me that attending the class reunion was all about reliving your youth?”

Qin Sang regretted it deeply.

“A mistake, an absolute mistake. I apologize for my recklessness.”

“If you insist on asking me how I feel about attending this class reunion, I guess it’s like time flies, and everyone has suddenly gone from being green youths to becoming the parents of youths.”

“What am I supposed to discuss with a bunch of people who are now moms and dads?”

“Share my weight-loss tips or acting experiences?”

The topics they discuss aren’t ones she can join in on either—the gap between ordinary people’s lives and the lives of celebrities is huge, and she can’t find a way to fit in.

Right now, she’s starting to wonder whether she had water in her brain when she decided to attend this class reunion. Why else would she come here just to be a mascot?

Why did she agree in the first place?

Oh right, it was to prove herself.

She was curious about that lingering figure in her memory—the one that never seemed to fade—and whether time had already washed its colors away.

I also wonder what his reaction would be if he saw the current her.

Would it be surprise, regret, or… indifference?

\_

“By the way, it’s been so many years since graduation. Has anyone seen our class’s top student, Xie Yunchen, who was the school-wide heartthrob?”

Suddenly, someone mentioned the familiar name during the gathering.

Qin Sang’s attention shifted briefly away from her phone as she pricked up her ears to listen.

Speaking of Xie Yunchen, truth be told, he wasn’t exactly close with most of his classmates.

Back then, I just thought he was arrogant because of his talent and out of touch with reality. But now, looking back, the social class he belonged to was worlds apart from ordinary people. Even in his youth, he had the means to live extravagantly, and a level of intelligence far surpassing his peers inevitably destined him to walk a lonely path.

While ordinary people were still fretting over functions and solid geometry, his world had already expanded into the cosmos of stars and seas.

How could someone like that have any common topics with me?

Sure enough, a male classmate said while smoking, “Can our Young Master Xie be compared to the likes of us? He’s a genius who got into Tsinghua University through a recommendation, always holding his head high and looking down on everyone. How could he possibly keep in touch with us ordinary folk?”

These words were particularly grating. Although Xie Yunchen wasn’t close to anyone—only acquaintances at best—he wasn’t the type to be aloof or stand out, nor was he completely devoid of camaraderie for his classmates, just a bit reserved.

His pride stemmed from his outstanding abilities and exceptional talent; it was the unique edge of his youth, sharp and prominent yet not overly harsh.

Qin Sang frowned upon hearing this, glanced at the speaker, found the face somewhat familiar but couldn’t recall who it was, so she quietly asked, “Chengcheng, who is that?”

Liu Chengcheng took a look and said, “Don’t you remember? That’s our class’s study committee member—the one Xie Yunchen always used to overshadow. He was the eternal second place. But now he’s doing really well, he’s a top executive at CITIC, and his annual salary is at this level.”

Liu Chengcheng gestured a number, and Qin Sang was slightly taken aback.

She really had forgotten. It wasn’t just that Xie Yunchen had little classmate affection—she was pretty much the same. There were only a few people in the class she could actually remember.

Back in high school, all her focus had been on Xie Yunchen—chasing after his footsteps, imagining that one day she could be as outstanding as him.

Thinking about her past self, so cautious and timid, carefully following behind him, Qin Sang couldn’t help but drift off in thought.

“I wouldn’t say that. Although Xie Yunchen might have been a bit distant back then, he was actually a good person. And he really was smart. I heard he did his bachelor’s and master’s together and later joined the Aerospace Institute.”

A classmate tried to smooth things over, but “Second-Best Forever” — perhaps because he’d been in a senior management role for too long and grown accustomed to giving orders, or perhaps because he still couldn’t forget the pain of being crushed by Xie Yunchen back in the day — gritted his teeth in resentment at the mere mention of the name.

Second-Best Forever” sneered, “No wonder. Scientists — they look down the most on people like us, reeking of money. But in today’s society, what’s the use of just having talent? When something serious happens, don’t they still have to bow their heads and beg for help? The pay at the aerospace institute isn’t that high either. Given the mess the Xie family is in now, even if our proud scientist classmate were to pool all his savings from over the years, it still wouldn’t be enough to smooth things over, would it?

“So what’s the point of just being good at studying? Good grades don’t guarantee you’ll do well in the future. With his kind of personality, he’ll always be an outsider wherever he goes.”

“What’s wrong with just being good at studying?” Qin Sang, who had barely spoken since arriving, rarely engaging when others greeted her and only offering polite smiles in return, finally spoke up.

Right now, she crossed her arms, suppressing her anger with a half-smile. “Studying is about understanding principles and gaining wisdom, not about showing off. Working is for survival, so there’s no distinction between noble and humble professions.”

“Xie Yünchen truly is different from people like us. He operates on a higher level—he studies to pursue ideals, works to bring those ideals to life. Those who strive for the advancement of our nation’s aerospace technology are driven by great love and a broad perspective.”

“Moreover—“

Qin Sāng smiled warmly, appearing anything but sharp, yet her words were undeniably harsh.

“If wealth were the sole measure of success, wouldn’t you have been destined from the start to be his loser, a failure in life? You keep bringing up the Xie family—did he ever use his family’s influence to defeat you?”

Qin Sang still wore that gentle, smiling expression, but the smile concealed a sharp edge, her eyes tinged with a hint of mockery.

“If you’re not up to it, just admit you’re out of luck. There’s no shame in lacking ability—after all, intelligence is a bit of a mystery, where a slight difference can lead to a world of disparity. Resorting to desperate measures, now that’s what truly brings disgrace.”

“I came here hoping to catch up with old classmates, not to listen to certain people boast about themselves while belittling others.”

Qin Sang stood up and walked out. As she passed by the perennial second place, her footsteps suddenly paused. “By the way, do you know what makes Xie Yunchen better than you?”

The perpetual second-place finisher clearly hadn’t recovered from her verbal barrage, and now the look in his eyes was dazed and stunned.

Qin Sang stood above him, looking down with slightly lowered lashes, speaking at a measured pace.

“Xie Yunchen, he’s outstanding.”

“He never belittles others because of his own excellence.”

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