Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating 27

Chapter 27

Jing Huan quickly gulped down some water, shaking off those strange feelings, then flew to the guild portal, ready to head back inside the guild.

As soon as he was transported inside the guild, he saw a White Snake Maiden lounging lazily on a brown wooden chair, gently waving a cattail leaf fan in her hand. Her white snake tail hung leisurely on the ground—she was the most expensive guild carriage driver available.

The guild scene was designed to be breathtakingly beautiful, with large props like waterfalls, rainbows, and ancient-style pavilions. It was no less impressive than the romantic hotspots in the game, and only a meticulous girl could have made it look so stunning.

He suddenly remembered the faction he belonged to in the old server, where the leader was a rough-and-tough guy. Their faction’s base was just an empty plot of land.

Nothing but herb fields—nothing else to speak of.

Rarely had he seen such a beautifully designed scene. Jing Huan thought for a moment and decided to forgo the carriage driver, opting to stroll around on foot to take in the sights. But he had barely taken two steps when someone appeared beside him—a figure clad in black with fiery red hair, wielding a gleaming obsidian sword.

Little Fox Fairy’s footsteps came to an abrupt halt.

[Current] SweetJing: Big bro~~ [excited]

The moment this message was sent, Heart’s Desire “whooshed” away—probably teleported via the coach—leaving Jing Huan standing there foolishly all alone, with that affectionate greeting still hovering above his head, looking utterly ridiculous.

…What a rude jerk.

Unable to resist, Jing Huan typed out two emojis in the chat.

[Current] SweetScenery: [Sneer][Spit]

Just as the two emotes were sent, the black-clad man turned back and reappeared beside the carriage driver.

Xiang Huaizhi had entered to brew potions. He had been chatting with Lu Hang earlier and wasn’t paying close attention to the game. With his quick reflexes, he found himself in the potion-brewing room before he realized it.

Recalling the figure he had just seen, he hesitated for a moment before teleporting back.

He squinted slightly, watching as those two rude emojis hovered above Little Sweet Scene’s head for seven seconds, gradually fading into transparency before finally disappearing.

[Current] Heart Yearns: ?

Little Sweet Scene remained silent for about ten seconds.

[Current] Little Sweet Scene: [Eye Roll] I’m rolling my eyes at myself! Big bro, how come you’re back already?

[Current] Heart’s Yearning: Why are you rolling your eyes at yourself?

[Current] SweetJing: [Spits] It must be because my avatar is too plain and my outfit is too ugly, so big brother didn’t even notice me before flying away.

[Current] Heart’s Yearning: ……

[Current] SweetJing: I’m so useless! [Slaps self]

Jing Huan numbly typed out these self-deprecating words.

[Current] HeartTowards: …I flew too fast. What are you doing here?

[Current] SweetScenery: The scenery in this faction is so beautiful, I think I’ll just wander around for a bit. [Cute]

Xiang Huaizhi replied with an “Mmm” and was about to fly away.

[SweetScenery has invited you to join her party. Yes, No.]

[Current] SweetScenery: Wanna look together, big bro?

Having played Jiu Xia for so many years, Xiang Huaizhi rarely took the time to admire the scenery in the game. In fact, Jiu Xia was initially famous for its extremely high game graphics and beautiful ancient-style design. Two years ago, the game operators even released an animated series, which gained very high viewership.

But he wasn’t interested in that. He still preferred the PK system in Jiu Xia.

Lu Hang was chatting with others in the guild channel. He was naturally outgoing and could strike up a conversation anywhere.

In the middle of the conversation, he suddenly remembered something and looked up to ask, only to find that Xiang Huaizhi had already taken his laptop and gotten into bed at some point.

Xiang Huaizhi sat cross-legged, his back against the wall, gazing calmly at the laptop resting on his lap while wearing headphones.

“Xiang Xiang.”

“Old Xiang.”

“Xiang Huaizhi!”

Lu Hang called out three times before Xiang Huaizhi finally looked up: “Trying to summon a ghost?”

“You were ignoring me… By the way, isn’t there a four-day holiday mid-next month? How about we go out for a couple of days?”

Xiang Huaizhi: “We’ll see.”

“Then remember to decide early, or we won’t even be able to book plane tickets if it’s too late,” Lu Hang said. “Where are you? Come help me with a quest—this damn thing requires two people to initiate combat.”

Xiang Huaizhi looked at the little fox fairy hopping around beside him: “I’m busy, just grab any passerby to do it.”

Lu Hang was taken aback: “What are you busy with?”

“Alchemy.”

Lu Hang let out an “Oh” and said, “Alright then.”

Jing Huan strolled around with Heart’s Desire, left and right, until they reached a small stream, where he stopped.

“Wow, brother, look at the stream,” the little fox spirit squatted down. “There are so many fish!”

[Team] Heart’s Desire: Mhm, I see them.

Jing Huan said sincerely, “That’s amazing. How much does it cost to create such a big scene?”

[Team] Heart’s Desire: A few thousand bucks.

Jing Huan sighed: “The guild leader is really rich, no wonder he was willing to spend so much money to hunt me down back then.”

Xiang Huai couldn’t tell whether she was complimenting or complaining.

He hesitated for a moment, then typed.

[Team]Xin Xiang Wang Zhi: Sorry.

Jing Huan was stunned: “What’s wrong? Why the sudden apology…”

[Team]Xin Xiang Wang Zhi: I misunderstood you as a scammer before.

“It’s alright, if it were me, I wouldn’t have believed it either at the time.” Jing Huan paused, “Brother, can’t you speak?”

[Team] Heart’s Desire: Yeah, my roommate’s here.

“Oh.”

Jing Huan sat there bored. Sure, he had intended to enjoy the scenery, but just a casual glance would suffice—he wasn’t planning to explore every nook and cranny.

After a moment’s thought, he suddenly spoke up, “Brother, can I ask you something?”

[Team] Heart’s Desire: What?

“It’s about you and Fairy Mengmeng…” Jing Xian licked his lips. “What’s your relationship with her? Why did she suddenly start chasing me down?”

[Team] Heart’s Desire: No relationship.

Jing Xian waited quietly for a while but didn’t get a second sentence of explanation.

Is that all?

He gritted his teeth and asked again, “I heard from others that there was someone called Ran Xin before… what happened with that?”

[Team]Heart’s Desire: Don’t know her.

Damn it!

    %¥……%#¥!!

You little brat! You’re lucky this is just in a game! If you were next to me right now, I’d beat you to the ground so hard you’d take my last name!

Jing Huan had nowhere to vent his anger. After stewing for a while, he suddenly made his character stand up and used the “Throw Yourself Into Someone’s Arms” emote on Heart’s Desire.

The little fox spirit dropped his whip and pounced toward the man. Thanks to a well-chosen angle, he landed perfectly in Heart’s Desire’s embrace.

Jing Huan repeated this motion over and over in his mind, silently chanting—Crush you! Kick your crotch! Stomp on your feet! Smash your head! Yank your hair!

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t expect her to be so bold and momentarily forgot to dodge. The two stood face to face, repeating this intimate motion over and over.

Until a white-robed scholar appeared at the bottom right of the screen.

[Current] Autumn Maple: ……

[Current] Autumn Maple: [Shut up]

[Current] Heart’s Yearning: ……

[Current] Little Sweet Scene: [Surprised]

[Current] Autumn Maple: Uh, I was just passing by. Are you two…?

They both spoke simultaneously.

[Current] Heart’s Desire: No.

[Current] Sweet Scenery: Just bonding~ *^0^*

[Current] Autumn Maple: I’m jealous. I’m leaving, won’t disturb you two.

Little Fox Spirit finally stopped her coquettish advances and waved at him.

Autumn Maple watched this familiar character acting spoiled toward someone else, unable to quite articulate the emotions swirling in his heart. He averted his gaze, took a screenshot, and posted the image in the guild’s WeChat group.

Autumn Maple: [Image] From now on, couples flirting in guild areas must pay admission! 20 gold per session! The proceeds will be used to buy dog food for our single guild members!

MyFavoritePeachTea: I fully agree with both hands!

BigDream: I agree too!!

LoveWithoutRegrets: ?

AutumnMaple: Of course, except for the guild leader and deputy leader. Speaking of which, why haven’t those two joined the group yet?

Chun Xiao: Xinshen says he’ll join later.

Qiu Feng: OK.

Lu Hang had already been in the group chat for a while. He first sent a quick “Agreed” before leisurely scrolling up to look at the photo Qiu Feng had shared.

The two people pressed close together in the picture looked oddly familiar, didn’t they?

“…What the hell? Lao Xiang?” Lu Hang turned his computer screen around and questioned his roommate Xiang Huai, “Is this what you meant by ‘alchemy’?”

Xiang Huai looked up and replied calmly, “Finished alchemy, just casually browsing around. Any problem?”

Lu Hang: “…No problem. So, are you two done browsing? Had enough of hugging? It’s almost time for the dungeon run.”

Xiang Huai hummed in agreement: “I’ll ask her.”

[Team]Heart’s Desire: Seen enough scenery?

[Team]Sweet Scenery: [Little bunny nods]

[Team]Heart’s Desire: Give me party leader, let’s run the dungeon.

[Team]Sweet Scenery: Okay.

In the past, the account “Heart’s Yearning” had a fixed team for quests, with the scammer acting as the permanent team leader. Later, when the scammer disappeared, the team naturally disbanded.

The three of them gathered in the main city. Lu Hang invited “Love is Sharing with You,” leaving just one spot left.

[Guild] Faraway Road: Anyone for the “Havoc in Heaven” dungeon? Need 1 more!

[Guild] Autumn Maple: I’m in. Where?

[Guild] Lu Tiaotiao: Main city.

Qiu Feng quickly joined the team. After a brief exchange of greetings, they entered the dungeon.

Having just talked with Heart’s Desire about his sister, Jing Huan’s mood had taken a noticeable dip. He no longer felt like acting cute or playing nice, and remained silent after entering the dungeon.

Lu Hang, however, had no intention of letting them off the hook.

[Team]Lu Tiaotiao: Little Jingjing, are you there?

[Team]Little Sweet Jing: I’m here.

[Team]Lu Tiaotiao: Did you just go sightseeing with Xiangxiang?

[Team]Little Sweet Jing: 0.0 Yeah, how did you know.

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: It was posted in the guild’s WeChat group.

[Team] Sweet Scenery: Oh, I see.

[Team] Lu Tiaotiao: What’s wrong with you? You seem down tonight.

Normally, you’d have spammed all the shy emojis by now, wouldn’t you?

[Team] Little Sweet Scene: No, I’m watching a drama.

[Team]Lu Tiaotiao: Alright, this one isn’t hard. Just watch and set it to auto.

Jing Huan was about to start another game to kill time when a message popped up in the chat channel.

[Team]Qiufeng: When are you two getting married?

[Team] Heart Yearns For: ?

[Team]Lu Tiaotiao: ???

[Team] Sweet Scene: [Surprised] Who?

[Team] Autumn Maple: You and Heart’s Desire.

[Team] Sweet Scene: We’re not getting married…

[Team] Autumn Maple: [Confused] Then what was that about earlier?

[Party]SweetScenery: [Shut up] Just casually looking around, how could brother possibly marry me?

Jing Huan typed: Although I really wish for it, brother doesn’t seem to have fallen for me yet——

[Party]AutumnMaple: Oh [haha], so you’re saying I still have a chance?

[Team] Heart Yearns For: ?

[Party]SweetScenery: ??

[Team]Lu Tiaotiao: No, bro, what do you mean? What opportunity? [Surprised]

[Team]Qiufeng: The opportunity to pursue Xiao Jing.

The team channel immediately fell silent.

Xiang Huaizhi typed a question mark and was about to send it, but after a moment’s thought, he deleted it.

He looked at the little fox fairy beside him, who also stood frozen in place, clearly frightened.

[Team] Autumn Maple: Haha, why has everyone gone silent?

[Team] Sweet Scenery: I don’t think I know you…

[Team] Autumn Maple: That’s so hurtful to say. We’ve clearly chatted several times before. [sad]

[Team]Little Sweet View: ? It doesn’t seem like the conversation was particularly pleasant, right?

[Team]Autumn Maple: Not at all, I think you’re especially cute.

[Team]Little Sweet View: …Aren’t you traumatized by this account yet?

[Team]Autumn Maple: She is her, you are you. Besides, we just met, and we’re in the same guild, so we’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other.

Jing Huan gasped sharply.

Qiu Feng watched the little fox spirit’s retreating figure. Just looking at her like this, he found it incredibly amusing.

He chuckled softly, about to tease her some more.

[Team]SweetJing: You’re too good for me, I’m not worthy. Wishing you find the next one.

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