Chapter 1 Moths to a Flame “Why don’t you come with me, and I’ll cherish you from now on…”

Han Rao never imagined that one day, she would be so audacious as to follow a complete stranger back to a hotel just because of a single promise from him, beginning a relationship she once despised.

That year, she was twenty-three, a small star cornered and blacklisted by the industry, desperately trying to make a comeback.

Inside the private room, amid a burst of cheers, Han Rao lightly lifted the glass of red wine that had just been refilled and drank it all in one go.

She wiped the wine from the corner of her lips with the back of her hand, barely setting down the glass, then pulled out her professionally trained signature smile and directed it at Mr. Du sitting beside her.

Mr. Du was the person she needed to curry favor with tonight. Her agent, Li Mengyang, had told her that he held the rights to several S+ grade costume dramas and was currently casting actors. If Han Rao could land a decent role tonight, her return to the public eye would be just around the corner.

Han Rao cherished this opportunity deeply. She knew it might be the only chance she’d ever get, so she swallowed her reservations and played along with the group, feigning friendliness.

Mr. Du is over forty, slightly overweight, with an ordinary appearance and a receding hairline. His looks aren’t as repulsive as the greasy middle-aged men often described in novels; after all, he’s wealthy, and money can give even the ugliest person a certain dignity.

But his behavior is as vile as that of any lecherous man.

The moment Han Rao bent over the edge of the table to sit down, she felt a weight pressing on her leg. She lowered her eyes and saw that President Du’s hand had landed on the hem of her skirt, gently pinching her thigh through the black pencil skirt.

If it had been before, Han Rao would have either cursed loudly and shaken the man off or slapped him hard.

But now, she didn’t dare, and President Du knew she didn’t dare.

Everyone in this private room was sharp; from the moment Han Rao peeked through the door, it was clear to all that she had a request. This was an unspoken rule in the circle—only by pleasing the financial backers here could she hope to secure a role.

Han Rao was well aware of this too.

So she endured it.

Han Rao curled the corner of her lips, gently grasped President Du’s wrist, softly brushed away his hand, and said in a gentle voice, “President Du, you must keep your word. I’ve had my drink, now it’s your turn.”

President Du seemed to be quite taken by her act, raising the glass that Han Rao had just filled for him and downing it in one gulp.

The jeering inside the private room rose again, but Han Rao didn’t laugh; she just stared blankly at the empty glass, at the vacant seat of the manager, Sister Mengyang, on the table.

Suddenly, she grew anxious. It had been a long time since Sister Mengyang said she was going to the restroom, and she still hadn’t returned.

At last, an expression not fitting for today’s occasion appeared on Han Rao’s face—anxiety, worry, even panic. Her beautifully arched brows furrowed slightly, casting a layer of melancholy over her delicate face.

Her expression was fully observed by Zhao Jichuan, who sat silently across from her.

It can be said that among these people, only he noticed her emotions.

The man lazily leaned there, the glass of wine in front of him still full, though he hadn’t taken a single sip. From the moment he entered, people had been toasting him one after another, but he said he had other matters tonight and wouldn’t drink, telling them to enjoy themselves. The others then dispersed from around him.

Zhao Jichuan was quite used to these kinds of scenes—groups of wealthy people using money and resources to lure women, yet lacking any sense of contractual integrity. After getting what they wanted, they’d practically expect to get a hefty discount on what they gave.

The man showed a faint smile, playfully scanning the people around the table. With just one glance, he noticed Han Rao.

She was different from the other women; despite being at such an event, she carried an air of pride.

Zhao Jichuan openly sized her up without any pretense. Han Rao clearly felt the burning gaze. She lifted her eyes, and their gazes met. Han Rao forced a smile, then suddenly lowered her head. For some reason, even though his smile wasn’t as teasing or provocative as the others’, it still made her feel uneasy.

It was only long after that Han Rao finally understood that Zhao Jichuan, so shrewd, might have already known back then the painful price she would have to pay to obtain resources far less than she had expected.

To put it in a common saying, he was looking at her as if she were a fool, smiling at her naivety, and perhaps that smile carried two parts sympathy as well.

Han Rao clenched her phone and glanced at the time again; Sister Mengyang still hadn’t returned, and the noise around her remained. Suddenly, she felt the air inside the room was stagnant, too stuffy, making it hard to breathe. Coupled with having drunk too much tonight, even the sobering medicine she took earlier was failing her, leaving her head fuzzy.

So, Han Rao picked up her handbag, deliberately bent down, and whispered to President Du, “President Du, sorry, I need to go to the restroom.”

After leaving the private room successfully, Han Rao immediately went to the restroom, half-closing her eyes, leaning against the wall by the door as she called Li Mengyang.

Without her manager around, she felt very insecure.

But the phone kept ringing, with no answer.

She then sent a WeChat message to Sister Mengyang, and after a few minutes, Sister Mengyang still hadn’t replied.

Almost instantly, Han Rao broke out in goosebumps all over her body. Suddenly, she thought of something, and her heart turned cold.

Logically speaking, someone like Sister Mengyang never parts with her phone. Except for when she was in the delivery room giving birth and couldn’t get her phone, she was almost on call twenty-four hours a day.

This time, she was deliberately playing hide and seek.

In fact, half an hour ago, she had already called Li Mengyang once.

The call connected at that moment, and Li Mengyang explained that her period had suddenly started, so she needed to take care of it before coming back. She reminded Han Rao to be sure to coax President Du gently, saying that President Du didn’t have many hobbies, just liked to have a little drink and talk heart-to-heart with people.

Looking back now, that whole excuse was really just to placate her.

Han Rao naturally realized at this moment that it was a trap, but what she never expected was that Mengyang, who knew what she had been through and was her trusted agent for so many years, could actually step forward and stab her in the back.

Han Rao didn’t return to the private room and immediately decided to leave with her bag.

Fuck off, President Du. At the drinking party, he kept testing her limits again and again, trying to take advantage of her. He probably never had good intentions from the start.

A bunch of idiots. Fuck them, she’s done serving them.

Han Rao was drunk and burning with anger. If she weren’t so powerless, she would have gone back to the private room to smash a couple of bottles just to vent. Anyway, she’s barefoot now and not afraid of those wearing shoes. After being blacklisted for four years with no roles to play, she’s not afraid to offend one more person.

The worst outcome would be to quit the circle completely; after all, she had entertained that thought before.

Han Rao pressed the elevator button firmly twice. Just as the elevator was about to go up, a man hurriedly stepped in from behind.

She glanced over and recognized him as the man who had been staring at her in the private room earlier.

Her attention hadn’t been on him before, but now, after stealing a couple more looks, she realized he was exactly her type. Perhaps because her parents divorced when she was young and she hadn’t spent much time living with her father, she especially liked mature and steady men.

Zhao Jichuan noticed her gaze, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips, his tone full of teasing, “Miss Han, are you planning to leave without saying goodbye?”

The mirror in the elevator reflected their figures. Han Rao looked at him in the mirror and suddenly remembered that she shouldn’t be deceived by his appearance. He was clearly cut from the same cloth as those people in the private room—pretending to be a gentleman.

With this thought, a trace of disdain colored Han Rao’s eyes. She raised her brows slightly and gave him a glance tinged with a hint of provocation.

“W-what’s your name?” Han Rao suddenly felt her tongue tie itself in knots.

“My surname is Zhao.” The elevator jolted slightly, and Han Rao, wearing eight-centimeter high heels, almost lost her balance. He reached out to steady her arm.

Han Rao withdrew her arm and smiled brightly, “So, Mr. Zhao, are you planning to leave halfway without saying goodbye?”

Seeing her smooth talk, Zhao Jichuan chuckled quietly and said nothing more.

Noticing he had no intention of holding her back, Han Rao secretly breathed a sigh of relief. To be honest, she had been quite afraid he would call Mr. Du to inform him that his cooked duck had flown into the elevator.

At that moment, the phone buzzed, and the agent finally replied, but it was still the usual excuses meant to placate fools.

Li Mengyang told her to hold on a little longer, saying she would be back soon, and took the opportunity to brainwash her, explaining just how important this role was for her.

Han Rao didn’t want to assume the worst intentions, so she asked again what she should do if she felt dizzy and almost drunk, truly unable to hold on any longer.

Sister Mengyang sent her a voice message about twenty seconds long. Han Rao pressed and held to convert it to text, but before the conversion was complete, she lost patience. In fact, she didn’t need to finish reading to know that Li Mengyang was just rearranging and repeating the same words she had just told her.

Han Rao sent a clean and concise message of five words, “I have already left.”

At this moment, Li Mengyang called her directly. The elevator doors suddenly opened, and the light grew brighter. Leaving the confined space, Han Rao let out a breath.

She answered the call while walking. The voice on the other end was quite loud. The first thing Zhao Jichuan said was, “Don’t be so high-minded. Can high-mindedness put food on the table?”

Han Rao’s ears tingled from the harsh tone, and she reflexively denied it, “I’m not being high-minded. I did everything you told me to do. I just want to know, what exactly was the chip I exchanged tonight? Was it really just to drink happily with President Du?”

“Or maybe, just endure it, let him touch my thigh and take some advantage, and that would be enough?”

“Or should I sleep with him?”

Zhao Jichuan obviously didn’t expect Han Rao to be so blunt and explicit, unhesitatingly tearing away this veil of shame. He took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, slowly pulled one out, put it in his mouth, gently lit it with a lighter, and blew smoke rings.

At the moment the smoke rings floated before his eyes, he stared intently at the woman in front of him, who was holding back her breakdown while confronting the manager.

Actually, her low-cut black evening gown was very beautiful tonight, with two very thin straps hanging on her shoulders, perfectly outlining her great figure. It was just that she had really drunk quite a bit tonight, so she staggered a little as she walked, twisting her hips in high heels.

Zhao Jichuan twirled his cigarette, carefully savoring the words the manager had just used to describe her.

Aloof.

Indeed, aloof.

Excessively aloof.

This woman before him remained proud even when stepping into the filthiest and most corrupt circles of fame and fortune. Just like when she toasted today, even though she had to bend her waist in submission, her shoulders stayed tightly squared, like a proud swan.

Oh no, it’s a black swan.

He almost forgot that she had specially chosen a black dress tonight.

Han Rao pushed open the door. The temperature in Beicheng in September was still relatively high. She only felt the night breeze, warm and gentle, blowing against her face, and only then did she feel as if she were alive.

Sister Mengyang was still patiently explaining the pros and cons to her, telling her that in this day and age, chastity was no longer the highest virtue, and she shouldn’t be so old-fashioned. “It was you who first agreed to come. I begged so many people just to get you this connection. If you miss this chance, no one can save you. Four years ago, do you not know who you offended? That was a matter of life and death!”

Han Rao naturally knew that her words about feudalism were sophistry, but when it came to four years ago, she still reflexively clenched her phone tightly, looking somewhat sadly at the neon lights not far away, where moths circled the glow again and again.

Her thoughts drifted a little, and she suddenly thought of the story of a moth drawn to the flame.

A moth flying into the flame, dying without regret— is it truly without regret?

“I don’t think it’s my fault.” Han Rao pressed her lips together, and because of the emotional turmoil, her voice grew much softer, carrying a hint of hoarseness.

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to act earnestly and stand firm on my own abilities. Is that a mistake?” Over the past four years, Han Rao has asked herself this question more than once. She just wants to act earnestly—is that wrong?

She is not at fault; the fault lies with this profit-driven circle, a circle where those without resources or connections are bullied and crushed into dust.

Li Mengyang thought she was stubborn, left her with a warning to take care of herself, and then hung up the phone.

With just a few words, Li Mengyang successfully made Han Rao stop in her tracks.

She began to struggle again, weighing the pros and cons.

Suddenly, Zhao Jichuan’s deep voice came from behind my ear, with a tone of kindly reminder: “Miss Han, have you changed your mind? Planning to go back again?”

Han Rao didn’t want to bother with someone who made sarcastic remarks like that. She put down her phone and stared straight at the little flying insects under the streetlight, feeling dizzy as they swirled around her. Her head was heavy and foggy, and her stomach churned with waves of nausea.

She felt like vomiting and hurriedly ran to the bushes by the roadside, gagging twice but throwing up nothing. However, tears fell with a “plop plop” sound onto the bluestone pavement.

Originally, Zhao Jichuan had only regarded all of this as a farce unfolding before him, but for the second time in his life, he felt a pang of compassion for a stranger.

He lifted his leg and walked to the bushes, raised his hand, and gently patted Han Rao’s shoulder, intending to kindly give her his suit jacket. Instead, he saw a pair of tear-filled eyes looking at him with hostility.

Zhao Jichuan suddenly realized that, in her eyes, he was just as rotten as those people.

The man took back the coat he had handed over, a teasing smile on his face as he asked, “Do you actors always cry this easily?”

Saying this, he lightly flicked the ash from his cigarette, gazing at her delicate little face, at the stubborn yet forcibly concealed expression she wore.

In fact, over the years, he has seen quite a few female celebrities in the entertainment industry, but the stars these days lack the distinctive charm of earlier times, especially the newcomers who all tend to favor a sweet and cute style. Someone like Han Rao, with her cold and strikingly fierce looks, can be said to be truly unique in the domestic entertainment scene.

Reputation in this circle is an absolute capital that grants you a voice; even if you’re just a pretty face, people will still buy into it—after all, no one dislikes beautiful things.

Zhao Jichuan felt that it was truly a pity for her face to be overlooked.

Upon hearing this, Han Rao frowned slightly, let out a light snort, and staggered to her feet.

She was wearing high heels, but still fell short of Zhao Jichuan by a bit, so she straightened her chest and pointed her finger at him

The nose shouted, “In our line of acting, being able to cry means we’re professional and capable. Do you think everyone is like you, just relying on being born into a good family or having a good father to be superior? You think just because you have a bit of money, you can do anything, so you can bully others at will?”

She stared intently into his eyes, as deep as the night, deliberately showing a look of disdain, trying to catch a trace of embarrassment on his face to gain a bit of psychological balance.

But none of these were present.

The man showed no emotional fluctuation; he simply watched her go mad quietly, watching a tear fall from her amber-like pupils. He lowered his gaze, looked at the cigarette in his hand about to burn out, gently stubbed it out, then lightly patted her little face, “Did I upset you?”

Han Rao felt as if she had punched a cotton ball, suddenly deflating. She brushed his hand away, gave him a glare, and said self-mockingly, “I’m damn jealous of the rich, happy now?”

Zhao Jichuan suddenly laughed at her scolding, genuinely finding her interesting. She was a tangled mess, wanting to thrive in the world of fame and fortune, yet unwilling to lower herself. In other words, she had a kind of outdated pride.

Driven by his inner curiosity and inherent flaws, he wanted to know what someone like her would be like when she played the soft card.

Han Rao didn’t know what he was thinking, and she didn’t want to find out. After all, they would have no contact with each other in the future.

Today, even her scolding didn’t feel satisfying, the drinking party was ruined, and everything had returned to square one. In the end, Han Rao was still just a speck of dust buried in this circle.

So Han Rao walked straight past him, planning to hail a cab back to her rental. Her head was pounding as if it would explode, and she desperately wanted to sleep.

Suddenly, Zhao Jichuan grabbed her wrist. “Miss Han, can we talk?”

Han Rao was puzzled; what could they possibly have to talk about?

She glanced back at him and heard him say, “What you want, I can give you, even better than he can.”

“How about you come with me, and from now on, I’ll cherish you.”

Seeing that Han Rao hadn’t reacted yet, the man remained unhurried, displaying the patience of a hunter capturing prey. He glanced down at the watch on his wrist and said softly, “I’ll give you three minutes. You can take some time to consider my proposal.”

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